To my bestie, Merisha Lalla

2017-08-31 08.48.32.jpgBestie as defined by “An adoring nickname for one you hold in highest esteem, more commonly known as a best friend. A bestie is the person who you not only go shopping with on a regular basis but also trust implicitly with anything.. besties do not come and go like waves and sandcastles, they are more like permanent marker on American Eagle jeans, they’ll stay with you forever.”
And with that my heart sinks. My bestie has relocated. The approximately 600 kilometres from Durban to Johannesburg feels like it stretches 16 thousand kilometres from Durban to the North Pole. Am I being too dramatic? It’s my bestie! I’m allowed to be dramatic!
She’s the one who always calms me down and gives me a reality check. Yes, that’s what besties are made of.  Forget all those little girl stories of sugar and spice.  A bestie has to be bitter and brutal with you when the situation demands. Frankly, I would rather hear it from my bestie than anyone else!
I don’t have a specific date for when we first met or when we became besties. I believe the most important relationships happen naturally. And should be celebrated every day.
I’m not going to spin you a story about how we bonded because we are like peas in a pod. We are not. Far from it actually. I’m the more carefree and careless one while she is mature and wants to get things right the first time. The irony is that she is a few years younger than me!
I’m not going to tell you that she was there for every major moment in my life. She was not. I met her weeks after I got married, some nine years ago. But since then, no moment is complete without her. My son turned 7 recently. I began the day by reading her message to him and crying. It was a turning point… It was the first major moment without her.
When I last saw her, she was adamant that I would not cry. I wanted to be brave for her. She was starting this new, phenomenal career journey and I owed it to her say goodbye with a smile.
It didn’t feel like goodbye then. Now, a month later, it’s real. I sent her a message a few days ago. It was raw with emotion… “People say it gets easier with time, they lie! “Yes, that’s our level of honesty.
Talking to my bestie has always been like sharing my inner thoughts. Saying them out aloud to her has given me affirmation that yes, I’m on the right track. Or on the flipside,  I realise, oh no! I possibly can’t do that. When I see her, I see someone who is able to hold a mirror to my soul and not judge me, but allow me to see things for myself.
It’s a simple and special relationship. It isn’t built on how many times we went out partying, because those have a rarity with her. We prefer spontaneous catch ups on a Sunday afternoon… coffee for me and tea for her! I told you we’re opposites! And then there’s my favourite; visiting each other at home. There’s no make up needed and even if I’m still in my pyjamas, it’s cool because those are the most relaxed conversations.
She has been the wind beneath my wings, pushing me to realise my own potential. My career change happened, more so, because she believed I could do it. I believe if more people had a bestie like mine, life would be a smoother and happier journey. There’s a contentment that comes from such a real friendship that helps everything else fall into place.
As I grapple with how the dynamics of our relationship have changed, I know we will be besties forever, come what may. Because I realise now, that when it comes to heart to heart matters, there are no spaces between us….
If you have a bestie as awesome as mine,  please share your story!

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